


Inside You

by TransverseLadybird



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel & Vessel Interactions, Codependency, Declarations Of Love, Destiel - Freeform, Emotions, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), I don't understand Angel/Vessels, M/M, No Smut, One Shot, Sorry if it's too out of universe, Sort Of, Vessel Dean Winchester, castiel uses dean as a vessel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransverseLadybird/pseuds/TransverseLadybird
Summary: Castiel has to transfer to another body to save his life. Dean orders Cas to take his to save him, but he doesn't expect the experience it will be to have Cas take over him.OR, I just wanted an excuse to have Cas inhabit Dean's body briefly.





	Inside You

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. I was nervous about posting this, because I know it's not really a plausible thing and I'm not usually in the Supernatural fandom, so I don't fully understand Angel/Vessel interactions, but I have enough friends who ship Destiel that I do too, now :) I have been obsessed by the idea of Cas inhabiting Dean for a while now, so I had to write something. I hope it's ok.  
> (RE Cas vs Cass, I have no idea of the protocol :/ )

"He needs another vessel. He cannot survive in this form." Crowley's voice is not sentimental. They can all see it. The spear wound leaving Castiel's human form, built in the image of Jimmy Novak, a wreck.

"It's ok. I am dying," says Cas, "I will not drag anyone else down with me."

"Cas, don't be stubborn. Use _me_!" Growls Dean.

"I can't, Dean," and his voice is so _reasonable_ , so moderated, while Dean is being torn apart by rage. "I would destroy you."

"Then destroy me, Cas, because I can't survive losing you again." The voiced thought cuts his throat on the way out.

"There's nothing here to lose," says Cas, looking away from the pain he's causing, the extra depth in his voice the only hint that he is feeling _something_.

"You are not dying on me again, you son of a bitch," growls Dean, yanking Castiel up by his lapels. "Now USE ME!"

There is a flicker of something in Cas's eyes, then Dean understands. Jimmy was right; it is like being chained to a comet, or tied to the sun. It's terrifying, and it's thrilling. Dean almost loses himself but the overwhelming sensation of Cas holds him together. Everything that makes Cas cushions Dean in the secure grip of a dragon's claws. Yet he feels unbearably safe.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I couldn't resist," a voice whispers, and it's Cas's voice, unsoftened by his vessel's vocal chords. He always assumed he understood who and what Cas was, but he had no idea. He loved the man that had come to help them, but the celestial being inside Dean's body is light, and love, and nourishment. His love for Cas has always been cloaked in shame, but there is nothing shameful about _this_. _This_ is the most important thing in the universe.

All those jokes about Cas being _his_ angel, scorn at the _human_ that was Castiel's weakness, but now he understands. Cas is _his_ angel. There is a bond here that defies the fact that Dean is human. He can perceive the true Cas now, and that it was only ever his humanity that had ever stood between them, but it is also his humanity that binds them. He can never lose Cas because he is a part of him; they are a part of each other. Castiel is not destroying Dean because this is _right_.

A ripping sensation runs through his mind and he blinks at the dullness of life suddenly before him as he once again sees it through his own eyes. Crowley holds a broken spear. Sam looks on the verge of fainting with shock, but most importantly, Cas is in front of him, whole and healed. Dean has collapsed by the couch and Cas's human form holds him and he understands truly how small a fraction of Cas this is before him.

"Dean, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that," growls Cas, and though it's once again filtered through human vocal chords, Dean can perceive his true voice underneath and it shakes him to the core. "Please, Dean," begs Cas, "please be ok."

He looks up at Cas peering down at him in fear, and shakes his head. "I don't know." And he doesn't. Truly. He doesn't know if he'll ever be ok again. He's experienced life in it's most raw sense and now it's filtered and human again. How does Cas stand it? _How do you stand being human?_

Cas's face tightens and Dean realises he's spoken aloud. "Being an angel is light." Dean understands. That was exactly what it had felt like. "But being human is all. It's depth, and shade, and most importantly, it's emotion. I shouldn't have joined with you like that. I have never done that with a vessel. It was wrong of me." Though Cas's words are moderated, his voice is tearing at the edges. "I was afraid," Cas continues, talking now because he doesn't seem to know what else to do. "I was afraid that if I used you as a vessel I wouldn't be able to hold myself apart. I was afraid I would want to share everything I was. A human would never be able to survive that. But you did." Dean nods shakily. "You did." Cas's voice breaks completely. It's _so_ human.

Dean just shakes his head again. He can't say "I love you", because it's too small to mean anything. Words don't cover any part of what Dean feels for Cas, but it doesn't matter. Cas has been inside him. He has joined with him completely. He knows.

"I did." They're the only words that matter.


End file.
